secretturtledinosaur, asks, “Real question for the fandom, when exactly did Yashiro fall in love with Doumeki? I’m curious to know your analysis.”

Aois confession 48

From my perspective, it happened in two bookend moments in Chapter 2.

Up until this point, Yashiro sees Doumeki purely as a toy, something to play with. He has no major awareness of him beyond his looks and his role. His impotence may have been interesting, and his confession about how he became impotent may have made him different, but in terms of Doumeki as a person, he was still a line drawing with little or no colour.

However, with Aoi’s confession in the cafe, it stirred a deep connection in him with his own feelings for Kageyama; also an impossible relationship with no hope of resolution.

It is true that being desired by someone, makes you desirable to others. Maybe it was as simple as that, but it was the moment where Yashiro’s awareness of Doumeki shifts. While he doesn’t make fun of or belittle Aoi in the slightest for her feelings, he does return to the office and directly digs into Doumeki’s softest of soft parts. Why?

First, I think he felt a connection being made and his first response is to attempt to shatter it before it can settle. Thinking about or evoking Kageyama was unsettling to begin with, but I think too, he felt some jealousy.  Remember he may be more masochistic, but he’s a sadist as well. So part of him is enjoying the anguish of both Aoi and Doumeki.

Second, and this is more subconscious; he begins to test Doumeki. Yashiro was also trying to chase Dou away from the yakuza and from him, because chile, stirrings. He told Aoi he’d send Dou outside, and he did. He knew exactly how to needle him into action.

I do not think he was expecting Dou’s fierce response. I don’t think either of them were. Doumeki never cared how Aoi felt before, why did her knowing he was impotent even matter? He had cut himself off from his family, and slowly committing himself to Yashiro and the yakuza. Why would he care what Aoi thought about his limp dick?

Trembling yashiro 54
This is what it takes 55

Except, by Yashiro telling her, he lost control of his own story. Yashiro took control of something so personal from him. This was the moment when Doumeki began to lose control where Yashiro was concerned, and in losing control Yashiro sees Doumeki for the first time.  Not the polite, obedient Hachiko face. But his real face. It is the first time Doumeki’s strength, his rage, his force of will is directed at Yashiro, and maybe Yashiro’s first inkling that not only is Doumeki is physically stronger than he his, can overpower him, but more specifically his will is also stronger.

And what did Yashiro do? Melt. Like so much ice cream in the hot sun. Not even Kageyama made him melt like that.

What it does to Doumeki is as frightening. Later when he puts it together, and realises his error and Yashiro’s kindness to Aoi, literally melts away any resistance he had to Yashiro. For Yashiro, it’s the knife coming back at him. Because this is Doumeki passing one hurdle, passing the first test of his defenses.

It is interesting that it’s such a physical interaction, considering how Yashiro’s emotions and sexual responses are hardwired. Maybe nothing else would have tipped him over the edge. But the combination of Doumeki’s physical strength and the look on his face when he was enraged, maybe it didn’t amount to the ‘love at first sight’ like Doumeki, but if you think this is the first time Doumeki is revealing himself, in a weird way, for Yashiro it is.

From this point on, Yashiro too begins to do battle with himself.

Im fucking hard 57

 

Scans by Saezuru Steve.

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sungoddess

mermaid, dayo's mama, water priestess, chaNjuzu, writer, web developer, omo yemoja, dos aguas, obsessive reader, sci-fi fan, trini-bajan, combermerian, second life, music, music, music!