So we’ve established that Yashiro stole Kage’s contact lenses back in high school. We know that they were important to him, he asked about them when Masumi’s guy moved him out of his apartment and into Big Poppa’s place.

We know that Doumeki figured out Kageyama is Yashiro’s only ‘love’. But this is the moment I knew Doumeki was going to win the war.

Dou finds the contactss
Page 15, Saezuru Tori wa Habanakanai: Vol 4
Dou finds the contacts 2
Page 21, Saezuru Tori wa Habanakanai: Vol 4

He’s going to retrieve Yashiro’s gun, and notices the contact lens case albeit subliminally. Being a cop, he does some fast math, and wonders why Yashiro has contact lenses in this drawer with all his toys.

Doumeki is quiet, taciturn. He doesn’t mind people thinking he’s dumb, because he learns a lot more about everything by just being quiet. He was a policeman, a trained observer.

So he noticed, and took a moment to explore and realising immediately whose contact lenses they were.

He didn’t know how Yashiro got them. Pretty sure he didn’t care. What would have shook him is that Yashiro kept them.

These contact lenses are the one part of Kageyama Yashiro has in his possession. The only vestige of an immature and unrequited love. Something put away, left in a drawer.

In this moment, like all others that have a part of Yashiro he does not, this is Doumeki’s lambent fury and jealousy, almost never articulated, nor overt in his character up to this point, but always there. This is the moment, when for him Yashiro’s love is a tangible thing.

The contact lens case is for both Yashiro and Doumeki, a symbol of what was and what could be.

For Yashiro, it’s what was. For Doumeki, it is what could be.

Page 22, Saezuru Tori wa Habanakanai: Vol 4

If Yashiro could love once, and there in Doumeki’s hand is the evidence it is possible, he can definitely love again.

And what does Doumeki do?

He steals Yashiro’s love. He quietly and sneakily, puts it in his pocket and walks out of the room.

You see him startled when Yashiro calls to ask what is taking so long, but you don’t actually see him put it back.

While we can say all of his previous trauma contributed to this moment, as all previous moments in life lead to crucible moments, you are witnessing Doumeki in a crucible. So much has pressed and pushed him. And this is him being pushed into being something new. Or maybe it was always there. He’s deceptive in his ability to hide his feelings, and he has his own darkness.

This is him rebelling against the idea that nothing can be done. That Yashiro his unknowable, unlovable, unmovable, unshakeable. He just hasn’t quite figured out how to rattle Yashiro’s tree yet. But as we well know, he starts trying everything he can think of. He begins to hone his ability to disturb Yahiro’s peace.

This is an deliberate declaration to all the forces around him what he intends. What he really wants, and that is for Yashiro to love him back. Not just love him. I think here, he wants to possess him, no matter how pure it appears. And here we see him deciding he’ll use any means he can think of fair or foul to win his fucking man’s heart

Page 24, Saezuru Tori wa Habanakanai: Vol 4

If he has Yashiro’s ‘love’ in his pocket, it’s literally just a matter of time before Yashiro comes looking for it (not the contacts case), his actual part of his soul love. And as long as he has Yashiro’s love in his pocket, he has and can maintain an emotional connection to him.

I am almost certain this contacts case will show up again. Sensei has been too careful about this particular symbolism.

Can you imagine Yashiro’s disorientation when he goes back to this drawer (as he must have when he goes back to his apartment) and realised that it was gone? He has to have known that ‘someone’ took it, and Yashiro is no fool. He will add the math up correctly the first time.

From this point on, when he puts the case in his pocket, we see a change in Doumeki. His ability to fight his own desire breaks down, his disobedience increases, his determination and resolve harden almost to a blunt edge. This was the beginning of Darkmeki. This moment when his hand, missing a finger for Yashiro, clenches around the contacts case in his pocket, is when he truly begins to plot.

Doumeki left Yashiro’s room with Yahiro’s love in his pocket, and went on and they had intense time in the back of the car, then things built until they had made love in his apartment (where did he take Yashiro?). But this is undoubtedly the moment Doumeki began to move towards taking what he wanted, making Yashiro his.

Later, after he has forced the issue and made love to Yashiro, been abandoned for the first time, we see the contact lens case as a catalyst again! There he sits, almost despondent with almost no focus but his pain at being left behind. Yashiro’s love falls out of his pocket, and reminds him, not only of his resolve, but his relentless determination to win Yashiro back from the gilded prison of his own making.

Page 205, Saezuru Tori wa Habanakanai: Vol 5

His fury shows in his face. He’s not despondent now, but infuriated and his own dark impulses rise. And in that minute, Chestnut shows up and gives him yet another opportunity to fight.

And of course. Of course this contact lens case would show up in the story at this point, right here after they’ve made love. Of course it would.

It confirms that he took it for sure.

And if he has it now, he still has it post-time skip.

Although, there is no way at all Yashiro would have discovered the missing contacts case prior to shooting Doumeki, and ‘forgetting him’ in the hospital,  later… after all that emotion (let’s not forget his snap, crackle and pop that led to Hirata getting fucked up for shooting Dou in the shoulder), once he got back to his house; How long after would he have noticed that it was missing? How did this missing contacts case contribute to his recurring dreams and ensuing melancholy? Not the case itself, but its symbolism of losing it? How is it contributing to his ongoing blindness, both emotionally and physically?

This is what I mean when I say, I knew this was when Doumeki was going to win. This was the point he began to really live in Yashiro’s head rent free, and subtle as it is, it is one huge shift in their relationship. Staying in Yashiro’s world, and keeping the contact lens, in this story, is like an anchor. For them both.

Doumeki moves more and more towards and embraces his own Darkmekiness, and Yashiro begins to move towards the light (even if he doesn’t know it, unwittingly like a moth) this is when Doumeki really began to burn; casting the light in the dark for Yashiro to find his way. What’s important is that Yashiro also starts seeing how less and less ‘cute’ he is.

BTW: This first panel is one of my favourite drawings of Doumeki. I love his long torso, broad shoulders, slim hips, bowed head and long beautiful lines.

2 comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • Love your analysis. I love all the details yoneda kou put in her books and especially this wonderful serie. And I am looking forward to the contact lens case reappearance. It will be a big step in their relationship I am sure. I really loved how you analysis this with the symbolism of darkmeki begins here and yes I think you’re right it’s when it became obvious he would win. Thank you for this!

  • I love the way you analyze the symbolism scene by scene. The interpretation that “Doumeki stole Yashiro’s love” was perfect. I’m new here, but I’m already a fan. Please keep writing.

The Vault

sungoddess

mermaid, dayo's mama, water priestess, chaNjuzu, writer, web developer, omo yemoja, dos aguas, obsessive reader, sci-fi fan, trini-bajan, combermerian, second life, music, music, music!