Journeying into self-care is a journey into self-healing.  In more than 20 years with myself as my primary patient, what I have discovered is this:

In self-care and self-healing, I am the patient and I require patience. Patience with myself and my process produces the most lasting kinds of change, maturity, and in that patience the wisdom of the Ancestors, Spirits, the Iyamis and Mami Watas comes to me. Patient I am in my patience. Loving I am in my Self Love. Caring I am in my Self Care.

We are at the Intersection of Femininity and Self Care.

It starts right where you are, wherever you are, and now.

This morning, I found and reposted this in the Backroom:

the ugliness of self care

“nobody talks about how ugly taking care of yourself can be

yes, sometimes it’s taking a warm bath and texting memes to friends and keeping an aesthetically pretty journal.

sometimes it’s crying silently on your couch at 3am, hugging yourself and reminding yourself that you’re a good person.

self care is not always ‘aesthetic’ and cute…and that’s ok. don’t be embarrassed, just do what you need to do.”


Via Ilya Parker

Let me add some more to contemplate.

Be patient. Be patience. Heal thyself and backsliding is allowed because you have your Beloveds and your sisters to hold your space. We must be patient with our sisters. When we say we are our sister’s keepers, it means patience with them and their process too. I does not mean beating them up or punishing them because their process or destination doesn’t look like yours. We are travellers… soul travellers. Embracing your own journey, means being free to embrace others IN their own journey.

The same way, in healing a physical wound, a patient can slide back into illness, infection or secondary problems occur, we appear to backslide. So our process looks like backwards, sideways, middling, navel gazing, all manner of bullshit. Yet, with patience, the patient does recover.

Stop beating allyuh self up, oui? Stop letting other people’s expectations define your process. Embrace your flaws and follies, and bring yourself back to your practise constantly. Like meditation, your practise is your breath, and with distraction and loss of concentration, the growth comes from returning to the practise, not in losing it.

I believe this is how we’re going to change the world.

I ’bout the place… bounce me nah. We are discussing this in The Backroom.

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