“Mummy you are too pretty not to have a boyfriend.”
“What makes you think I don’t have a boyfriend?”
Levels a very serious look at me and says, “I don’t see one, so let me tell you how to get one.”
“Your new boyfriend should have beautiful, Black skin because I am a fan of African skin.”
“He shouldn’t have two teeth. That will just look ugly. You don’t want to marry someone with two teeth. He shouldn’t have one big eye and one small eye. He will look weird. He should have brown eyes and no red eyes, no yellow eyes and no purple eyes.”
“He should be beautiful inside and outside and he needs to think you’re the perfect woman like I do. And if you relax just enough, and get close to the edge he will kiss you and you will get another baby.”
“Last rule for getting a boyfriend: he has to have muscles and the right body. No more skinny men. He can have a beard, and he can have long hair. He should also have the right penis and the right butt. ”
“Then I will give him a pass.”
I SWEAR TO YOU I DID NOT MAKE THIS UP. I STOPPED HIM AT ‘RIGHT PENIS…’ BUT HE MADE SURE TO FINISH HIS POINT.
This is my seven year old son telling me this. It’s really hard to argue with his logic, but still!!!