A nasty case of sciatica has leaped upon me. Followed briskly by a nasty bladder infection. I haven’t slept properly in about a week and a half… and the entire time has been spent largely writhing in pain from one condition or the other, or both. I have been nauseous and weak toobesides, and enormously tired. I am also officially tired of peeing…
My mother has been very good to me over the last few weeks… and this last weekend, she’s been pretty much taking care of me. First I’ve been gobbling nettle leaf in capsule form every five hours or so since Saturday night, plus my mother has been pumping me full of chamomile tea to help me to rest (it helps, but sometimes the pain is too intense.) She braided my hair for me, and greased my scalp, and I can’t remember the last time she did that… has to be a long long time.
The baby is perfectly fine. He’s in there, turning around and around, kicking and slugging away happily. I had a check up yesterday, and got the results of my extensive blood tests. No HIV, no STDs, no diseases at all….. but get this, apparently I am a carrier of the trait for sickle cell anaemia. This was a bit of a surprise. Since I don’t actually have the disease, it’s something I need to stick a pin in. The baby’s heartbeat is strong, and he’s an active little guy. So I’m relaxed and pleased about that.
Plans continue apace for this ‘baby shower’. Mummy and Auntie SS (her oldest girlfriend) are working themselves into a lather planning it. It’s kind of cute. They’re planning a menu, to give presents to everyone who comes, plotting games… I guess I wasn’t expecting a shower. You know, the last party anyone threw for me was my 12th birthday party and it was a surprise party too. Almost every other birthday celebration has been largely of my own doing and volition, and there have been more non-birthdays that actual celebrations.
This, this is a celebration of motherhood, pregnancy and the coming of my chap, and an opportunity for me to celebrate becoming a mother. I guess I need that. I haven’t had many opportunities to do that since I’ve been pregnant. Doing this alone, and surviving all that change has in many ways numbed me as much as it freed me from certain things.
Mummy and Auntie SS doing this for me, is just a welcome and appreciated celebration. I want to celebrate the baby and becoming a mother. Mostly I’ve been so flipping traumatised by the experience, I haven’t taken the time to CELEBRATE my baby. When they first mentioned it, I didn’t think they was serious. I think though, they’re making such a fuss, because they know how I’ve been feeling… know what I went through and are trying to do something for me to cheer me up. So I guess I’m looking forward to the shower.
It’s not just the whole party thing either. People are reaching out to me, and expressing such love and kindness, good thoughts and actually helping me with the whole act of getting ready for the baby, whether it’s bringing baby things, or sending them, or coming and taking me to beach for a swim. I’m feeling fairly calm these days.
My own oldest girlfriend, ezebaby (30 years of friendship might I add), is trying to come up and spend a little time with me in July. She’s hoping to bring my god-daughter with her. That’s also something I’m looking forward to in the coming weeks. It would be good to hang out with an old friend, someone who’s known me since before I know myself.
So here I am, nursing my body and trying not to take on too much. Still in some pain, and struggling to get back into the swing of things, but in a good humour all the same.