This morning in my half sleep, one powerful shower of rain pounded on the roof. It’s the first real rainfall I’ve seen I think since I’ve been back.
My God, when I tell allyuh it hot no ass here, I am not kidding… and the bigger I get, the hotter I am. I am just frying… I bathe four or five times a day sometimes. The only way I can sleep comfortably is naked, and even then I am as hot as hell…
… but the rain this morning was nice… cooling. For all of a hour or so, but it was cooling. It’s still overcast, and not as hot, but still hot.
I drink about a gallon of water a day, and pee at least that much. Pregnancy in the tropics, right?
Did I mention I can’t stand the smell of food cooking… and that the sight of mouldy bread makes me vomit? Also I can no longer drink evaporated milk, it’s making me nauseous. I look like I’ve swallowed a basketball too. I feel so fat!! Okay, so that’s my bellyaching for today.
Last night, I dreamt I was in a house with about twenty young women. Some were pregnant and some had babies; some had babies and were pregnant again. One of these girls had a baby in arms — a little girl — and was pregnant again.
She handed her daughter to me to hold, and went downstairs apparently to confront her children’s father. Both of them were no older than eighteen.
We heard him shouting obscenities, and I handed the little girl over to someone else. I called about ten of the girls to me, and we went downstairs. We surrounded him, and her, and I began to talk to him. I began to talk to him and tell him that the mother of two of his children deserved respect. I told him if he wanted her enough to screw her, and she had his child, she deserved to be spoken to with respect, without his ego and selfishness overwhelming his common sense. I told him no matter what is going on emotionally between them, the she deserved his respect always and that his children and their well being was his only priority. i said to him, this is what a man is being about.
My dreams recently seem to always be about babies… and last night’s dream certainly echoes a conversation that I wish someone had had with my son’s father. Maybe that’s what the dream was about….