Right now I am so fucking pissed off….
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday today is Wednesday, I’ve been washing dishes in this house; I’ve swept and picked up things after people, but you know tonight I got accused of doing nothing. Sunday Mummy waited until I had made my cereal and was about to sit down, to ask me to make her an egg sandwich… days before, I have to run and fetch water for her…. what she wants is me to slave behind her and work like a dog in this house behind her, but you know, the fact that I am pregnant makes no difference.
I really do not know what I would have to do in here… I am sick to fucking death!
Mummy is such a critical bitch, and she is one of the most mean-mouthed people I know. I have to hear that I am so selfish, wrapped up in my own world and have no self-respect… then trying to tell me that she doesn’t blame Colin… for what? I didn’t let her finish…. I was screaming at that point.
You know, it’s like I am not allowed to be pregnant. If I complain that I feel ill, or that I am sick, or that some aspect of the pregancy is effecting me, I get no sympathy. I can’t rub my stomach… I can’t vomit, I can’t feel nauseous, or exhausted, or feel as though the room is going to tip over…
She accuses me of all the things she does… selfishness, mean-spiritedness, laziness.
I am just so sick of her insulting me, insulting my efforts, insulting my experiences, my intelligence. I am just tired of her… I really can’t stand her. I love her, but I really don’t like her very much.
Thing is, that whole scene in here tonight was because neither she nor Jomo wanted to wash the dishes…