My Independence Wanes

So my pervading sadness at the ebbing away of my temporary independence in London continues.

In six days, unless some kind of miracle ensues, I will homeless; homeless and nearly destitute.

I’m also sitting here in my ‘soon-not-to-be-mine’ flat, waiting for TMG to call. I am dreading this phonecall.

I think this will be it. This is the night that I give up on him forever, and I do not even know how or where to begin to let go, but let go I must. No matter how deep our longing for each other, no matter the strength of the feelings between us, we have been sundered. Not forever I think. I think the karma between us is much too strong for that. However, we’ve lost each other in other lives, we will find each other again.

I am not waiting. I am not waiting. Analysis of the patterns in our relationship show me without a shadow of a doubt that we want each other but don’t know each other.

We’re the same person, he and I. We really are. Two halves of a whole out exploring the duality of existence, one male, one female on opposite ends of not just an ocean, but large land masses.

Am I sad? Yes, deeply so.

Yet, the war is at an end for me.

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thegoddessroom

The Vault

sungoddess

mermaid, dayo's mama, water priestess, writer, web developer, omo yemoja, dos aguas, obsessive reader, sci-fi fan, trini-bajan, combermerian, second life, music, music, music!