Brain Tricks Body Into Surrender

momentssicky sickyJohn Legend — RefugeThe last few days, I’ve been sick with the cold. I’ve been getting up and going to work regardless, but it has cost me.

Last night I got home, around 6.30pm, but around 7pm I said I was going to lay down for a few minutes, and when I woke up it was midnight. I turned around a little in this little flat and then went back to sleep and slept until five minutes before the alarm went off.

Chile, leh meh tell ya, I was tired, tired… bone weary.

My contract is basically over. I am working from home tomorrow helping out with the end of a build for a big project, and Monday I go in for a few hours (off peak) and return my laptop, my phone, my door pass… etc.

I am so fucking exhausted. Between the commute, and the extreme stress of the last few weeks, I’m just bushed. That’s the thing, I only get colds when I am tired. This one was just waiting for me. My body won’t sleep the way it needs to unless it’s sick. I think my brain is active so much, even when I am sleeping, that my body has to fool it in order for it to reliquish control. It’s only now, at the end of all this travelling and working, that it senses now is the time to shut me down for a little regeneration. Nasty little bugger this cold is.

I am just looking forward to some extended, protracted, obscene amounts of sleep. And let me tell you, it’s begun. Thursday night was just the beginning. I’ve been packing in the hours since then.

Monday is my last day at work. I’m doing some work at home this weekend to make up the hours on my contract (mind you I worked last weekend too, so hence the bone weariness). I’m going in on Monday for a few hours, and then after that I am going to just get on with that protracted, obscenity I mentioned before.

In between I am still sending out my CVs. Someone told me that now I’m not with this company, I’m more likely to get solid leads, because the agencies here are such mercenary, money hungry, quota driven wankers (in general), they weren’t going to send me on any interviews while I was still in the throes of the commute, and with the possibility of a renewal or extension by the company.

Now that I am free, I have more time to devote to the search in any case.

I’m just so fucking relieved there’s no more trains, no more mechanically going through the motions at work. Turns out I have enough money for a couple of months, maybe two and a half if I squeeze. That’s enough to make it to my next job. My line manager told me she doesn’t think I’ll get two weeks to sleep. She says she thinks I’ll get something quickly.

I hope so, but I really wouldn’t mind two weeks to recover… any more than that and my brain will kick my body back into panic mode and well…. don’t want to contemplate what will happen if I don’t get a job by the time the money runs out.

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sungoddess

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