Funny How That Works

My birthday is a mere three weeks away now. I’m a little stunned, but then I always get a little stunned around my birthday.

I’m going to be (ACKKK!) 31.

As always this is my deep self examination time. Personally, this year, like all others in the last decade, I am feeling my loneliness.

Contemplating the number of my friends who have paired off, those who have had children and how come I haven’t been able to do that.

A few weeks ago I went to see a babalawo here in London. (Did I write about that? I can’t remember.) Mostly it was about getting my One Hand of Ifa sorted out, which while not critical is still quite important.

I was told to stop worrying, and to stop telling out my business; not to talk too much with people about projects I’m undertaking.

I was also told not to get too picky about men.

Except, is having standards being too picky?

Is being picky caused me to be alone for so long? I want children… I really want babies… a little person that looks like me and someone else.

I am really longing for a house and a family of my own. I think maybe this is what is missing from my life, and i fdodon’t even know where to begin to insert that… men are so fucked up, and taking a risk in this day and age just seems stupid and juvenile, and well 31 is too old for that isn’t it?

:sigh:

Expet more pondering like this coming down to the day itself… April 13 for those who are interested. Planning another Winnie The Pooh cake this year…

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thegoddessroom

The Vault

sungoddess

mermaid, dayo's mama, water priestess, writer, web developer, omo yemoja, dos aguas, obsessive reader, sci-fi fan, trini-bajan, combermerian, second life, music, music, music!