I’m trying to hold myself together.
Today is Friday. Today is the day I’m supposed to find out about this job in Birmingham.
I am just on edge, trying not to freak out. I’m pondering whether to go back to sleep or not, because I just can’t take the pressure.
It’s just before lunch time, and I’m thinking this is so drawn out.
I never had this feeling of anxiety when I went up for that job in Lancashire; at least if I did I don’t remember it being so strong. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t too keen on the job that far away from everthing and everyone I was familiar with.
This job, I really want! It’s so interesting, and I like the layout of it, and the money is good and it’s in Birmingham where I said I wanted to go. I just want it, want it, want it. Shit… I’m going to be really disappointed if I don’t get it, and I don’t know how to brace myself for disappointment…
I just know I’d do a good job if they give me the work.
I just want to crawl under the covers and concentrate on breathing. It’s just too much pressure man.
All my cards of the day this week have been positively indicated about communication, new ventures, the end of struggling financially, stability, employment, promotion, the end of a period of distress and rootlessness. So at least messages have been coming, and positive ones, but I can’t help myself from worrying. I’m a worrier…
Just fucking call and give me the job damnit!!