There was a black out here tonight.
After weeks of sitting on the materials, I lit some candles and did some ritual work for the first time since I’ve been in England.
I also watched the half moon rise… a big fat yellow moon with personality, rose over distant hills, throwing fat bands of light across the lake. It was the first time since I’ve been in Kent, that I saw all the stars in the sky.
I am still sick, and still not comfortable, still horny and missing my baby, still broke; but in my belly of bellies, I feel the truth of my life and the call to this place was well heard, well answered.
I have put myself in the path of fate and destiny… if you believe in those things. All that is for me will find me.
My happiness may be months away, but in my heart it is already a living thing, spreading itself across my life and into the surrounding terrain.
I am fine. I am going to be fine.
I feel good to be doing some kind of work, spiritual work.
The blackout was just the push I needed… to light candles in the hope of illuminating the universe; in the hope of illuminating my own soul. The effort may yet draw prosperity and love to me, but as for lighting a light within me, it’s already done that.
My teacher is around the corner… my teacher is soon to come. I am preparing to meet him/her. I am preparing to open my head and heart to the incontrovertible wisdom and strength that pulls me forward.
I am still a little pebble, a stone in the river being shaped by the rush of life; but I am also the river, flowing endlessly to the greater soul of the Sea!