Ha! Ha! I just talked to on the phone!! 

He has a voice and we are making some sort of loose plan to hook up and have a proper face to face conversation. Ahhh…. I can’t wait!!!

Things here are well… going. 

I am -ing all over the place at the moment. This morning I was rushing out of the flat to go e-mail off my to two potential jobs. One of them had to get there by lunch time. 

The set of keys I’m using doesn’t turn one of the locks properly, it turns it in one direction, but not in the other. I always have to double check, because this set looks just like the other set. However, the other set went with monilove23, so I don’t know why I was so foolish, but I wanted to test and see if this was the right set of keys, and somehow managed to turn the lock (did it while the door was open) but couldn’t get it back into it’s open state. 

So see ya girl, sitting on the floor trying to get this bedeviled lock to turn. I was pushing and pushing — then to my horror, the key broke off in the lock!

Well that was it. The whole thing took over and I was sobbing in seconds. 

It’s not just that the key had a hex on it.
Last night, the friend I’ve been staying with and her roommate and I sat down and had a long discussion regarding me staying with them and the whole sharing a flat thing. 

They didn’t say I couldn’t stay or anything, it’s just that you know they told me that I’m and in the morning for them to cope with. In addition to that I’m too loud and bubbly in the evening for them to cope with after a long day at work. 

So in short I have to tone down my personality in order to make this living arrangement work and well, it felt like all of a sudden there are piles of eggshells all around me that I never really noticed before. 

In a way, it made me uncomfortable, because well who likes hearing that you’re loud? Am I really that loud? This broken key thing just turned into something else for me, something I don’t think I can adequately explain.
I … the job search continues. I’m sending off resumes and such, and trying to keep it all in perspective, but you know all of a sudden I’m not sure about anything any more. 

I am worried about money and what not, and trying really hard not to spend a cent (oops, a pence), but if I don’t start working soon I really will be in shit. 

Also, I’m wondering if is going to come up for real, because that’s an alternative living situation we might get worked out. That way, I won’t feel so much like a fish out of water, because well is louder than I am.
I got a message from her here, and well, she still sounds like she’s coming up here. I need to call her and iron out some stuff, I just want to settle! I suppose getting a job and a settled, comfortable living space is too much to expect within two weeks, but hey, I have always been sickeningly optimistic, even when the fucking ship I am on is sinking to ass.


This morning as I sat there with the broken key in my hand, sobbing like someone had stolen my bike, I started to pray. 

”Mama Osun, I don’t know how to fix this. Right now I’m so scared, please help me.” 

A minute later, this chap who I have passed in the hallways in the building came upstairs. 

”Do you have a pliers?” I asked. 

Off he went to get one. It didn’t work, so he went and got another one, and well he turned the lock and managed to the key. So I got out of the house at last.
Marvelous man, Shane is his name. He lives in Flat No. 36. Big electronic ether hugs to you, buddy!

Just as I was leaving, my mother’s friend P called and asked me if I wanted to come use her computer and Internet connection (broadband if you please) to send of my s and stuff, to come on down she was home all afternoon. 

You see? My beautiful Mama Osun is taking care of me. 

I am worrying, because, well… I am a worry wart, can’t help it. It’s my way, it helps me to focus. However, I have this palpable sensation of being taken care of and no amount of , uncertainty or worry is taking that feeling away. 

P.S. Talked to last night…. this thing is getting stronger with the distance not weaker. I am feeling so wide open to life right now, you going drive a train right over the tracks I’ve laid down for it.

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The Vault


mermaid, dayo's mama, water priestess, chaNjuzu, writer, web developer, omo yemoja, dos aguas, obsessive reader, sci-fi fan, trini-bajan, combermerian, second life, music, music, music!