Yesterday, your girl was just in the best mood. Getting the invitation letter just put me in a better frame of mind…
When I dressed and left for work, I chose all white. In fact, I’ve been wearing mostly white for a few months now.
I asked the padawan to come with me, and I walked up to the bookstore that Ayoka runs in Green Corner called Afrikan Kultural Books.
On the way up there, I met this ‘guy’. Now if I give away too many details, some people are going to guess who he is. So I am wary of revealing too much.
That said, after yesterday he and I are not friends, and well maybe I don’t really give that much of a fuck if the whole world knows I think he is more than a little stupid.
Now, when I saw this guy, I said hello in a friendly way, but mostly kept walking. This guy I have always felt was a little weird, and I think he’s a bit of a flammer. Actually, my brother, who introduced me to him like this time, last year, declared him a flammer from almost the beginning.
He was going in the opposite direction, but when I told him I was on my way to the Afrikan bookshop, he said, “Okay, let’s go then.”
So he begins to follow me up the road.
After a minute of just idle questioning, he asks me, “So why are you wearing white? Are you making a statement.”
“I’m in a learning phase.” I replied.
“What does that have to do with wearing white?”
“Well I don’t know if I feel comfortable talking to you about it.”
“Come on tell me,” he insisted.
“I’m training to be a priestess.” I finally answered, though I said it softly.
“Oh no!” he said. “I’m very wary of women who tell me they’re training to be priestesses.”
“So you’re afraid of strong women, then.” I replied.
“I’m afraid of stupid women.”
“So you think I’m stupid.”
“No… no..” he kind of stammered.
“So what exactly are you trying to say?”
Needless to say, in less than a minute, he decided he needed to go in another direction.
Two things are interesting. One, I never stopped walking. Two, he followed me.
I’ve known guys like him all my life… steeped nerds, who were probably ostracised as children, who in adulthood, feel the need to know everything and tell you that they do.
There’s this part of me, that wanted to ask him, “Who are you to cast aspersions on my spiritual life?”
Another part of me, sent the thought to him, “Maybe it’s just better if I walk another way.” It’s as though on a psychic level, my porcupine quills just went into alert mode, and I began to repel him. It was a totally unconscious reaction, and before I had time to really analyse what I had done, he was gone and I kept walking and made it to the bookstore (plural) and the botanica yesterday, and home before I had the time to think through the whole scene.
It’s amazing, because although the conversation was brief, I think it’s the first time I ever really encountered someone who was derogatory with regards to my spiritual convictions and practises. I feel that I have friends who listen to me quietly, but who don’t share my perspective on life.
The thing is, he was in a band with my brother’s godfather, and both my brother’s godfather and the band were brilliant. My brother’s godfather was a sweet man, at least to me. So there is a part of me, that I guess had extended a courtesy to him (the little negative man) as being part of that.
However, I think that his inability to control his opinion and his willing foot swallowing, is enough for me to just never want to touch or encounter him again.
I am trying to look at this in a spiritual way, and I think I handled the situation very well, but this guy was just too fucking fast. I am not saying I’ll never speak to him again, there are only a few people I know who I just will never unpick my mouth to say word one to ever again in this lifetime. What I am saying is, I felt sorry for him and at the same time, just wanted him to go elsewhere.
It’s so funny, by the time I got into the bookstore, I had forgotten the whole thing.