The community lost two of it’s most active members yesterday, bluey and DefiantMike.

I’m still not a hundred percent sure about all of the details, but bluey gave me a personal report yesterday as to why etc.

I dunno, ‘blog burnout’ is just not something I have felt yet. I keep wondering when it will happen, but I’m not bored with the exercise yet. For me that’s a big thing. Web sites outside of Sunhead, just don’t keep my interest that long, but journalspace and the effort to write has made me a believer in online community experiences again.

For me, this has been an exercise in the joy of regular writing, and a viable maintainable journal of my experiences over the last year or so. I didn’t really start my blog because of the community, but the community is definitely part of why I keep blogging as well.

So many of the people I have loved reading over the last year have gone, Muse-Sick, twizm, Estrella now bluey and DefiantMike. In the case of bluey, bluey deleted EVERY entry she ever made. She didn’t back up anything!

I don’t think I could ever abandon my writing like that. I have every journal I’ve ever kept, starting with the first one I kept at age 14/15. I still go back and read them, because they keep me humble. They help me to remember the road and my struggle to get to the next step, the next level. They help me to remember the birthing spasms that made me the person I am. I guess, I have always seen this blog in that light.

It was never about just blurting out momentary spasms of frustration or joy. Everything I write tends to be thought out; contemplated.

I may not understand why people abandon or delete thier blogs, all I’m saying is please, please, please don’t leave me syciano or smotlock . If you guys leave, I am going to permanently move my blog to because my experience on Journalspace will be so seriously impaired, I will find it too hard to continue to put that kind of effort out for any other site outside of Sunhead. I know that sounds a little fucked up, but if you guys decide to go it alone, I will have very little here keeping me around.

I love Journalspace, and maybe my experience in it and with it, has been radically different to others.

I have had my personal life explode across the ether,;I have played out dramas, bitterness and disappointments as well. However, I see this as catharsis.

I don’t write in here to please people, I write in this blog to please myself. The fact that people respond to what I write helps to make it worthwhile, but ultimately, my own voice and perceptions are important.

This blog, and the numerous backups of it, are part of the legacy I leave to my children. Words they can use or leave, and maybe it will effect them the way it effects other people around here. Maybe some wisdom with rub off on me, and thus onto them. Maybe it’s just fanciful and vain, but that is also part of my motivation.

So community rumblings, gossip, backbiting, betrayal, bitterness, (ooh , was that aliteration?) nepotism, all of it floats like scum to the top, and I scrape it off to find what’s potable underneat; uneffected, unmoved.

O mi god! I just realised that all your comments in my blog are going to vanish, and that’s the part I hate about the deleting of blogs. What a waste, what a pity.

However, I accept that my experience is not anothers, and while I don’t agree with the choice, I know all are free to make thier own decisions.

Farewell bluey. Farewell DefiantMike.

Bless your voices, may they find soil, nutrients, water and sunshine to blossom and grow again.

Bluey, I know we’ll talk about this again.

Blessings and Good Things to both of you.

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The Vault


mermaid, dayo's mama, water priestess, chaNjuzu, writer, web developer, omo yemoja, dos aguas, obsessive reader, sci-fi fan, trini-bajan, combermerian, second life, music, music, music!