Didn’t Get It

I didn’t get the job in Birmingham.

I am so disappointed! Their reason was I didn’t have enough UK experience.

I am so tired of hearing that. So tired of people telling me that they do not trust my intelligence to grasp whatever it is they need me to.

They told the agency that I did interview very well, and they really liked me alot, but they felt I didn’t have enough experience in the local market to satisfy their needs.

After a few minutes of hot, burning tears, I came downstairs and spent a few minutes furiously sending out CVs… I am now approacing four hundred.

I guess more than anything, it is the fear that I will have to go back to the Caribbean. I just do not know how to face that, deal with that.

How can I tuck my tail between my legs and return to that dead-end job with shit money, and The Cockaroch creeping around?

I am so disappointed. I don’t know what to do right now, I just don’t. I keep sending out CVs hoping something will turn up, but I am really getting tired. What’s worse, I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

I can’t stay at my cousin’s too much longer, I don’t even know how I’m going to get home even if I have to go.

The last thing my mother said to me on Saturday when we spoke was, “You’ll have to make a decision soon.”

How do you decide to turn away from a dream of a better life? How do you decide to choose the pits instead of reaching out for what you want.

I just don’t know what else to do.

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mermaid, dayo's mama, water priestess, writer, web developer, omo yemoja, dos aguas, obsessive reader, sci-fi fan, trini-bajan, combermerian, second life, music, music, music!