I am a little frustrated….. and although I am not quite sure how it happened, I am smoking cigarettes again.
I am not waxing philosophical or anything, I just don’t care enough about it right now.
What I can tell you is that part of my frustrations is purely sexual. I am orallly fixated–hence the pierced tongue–and since I can’t suck the cock I am enamoured of, then I find myself needing to do something.
Blech….. it’ll pass.
I have a feeling this is just a temporary lapse, because I really don’t enjoy smoking, but it relieves something.
My mother, who has been a smoker all my life, and who I don’t think has ever really tried to quit in the last 25 years, is not helping at the moment either. But, I feel close to her, and maybe that’s why I am smoking right now too.
Ah…. fuck….. it’ll all pass. All things are not what they seem.