Etta, Etta, Etta

Lawd have mercy, Etta James is a gritty angel, ent?

What a marvellous way to ease into any day; Etta is singing about her ‘Dearest Darling’. Thanks for the rip Laura….how’s the Nina going?

I just spoke to one of my Baba’s about this whole situ with the young man. He told me to have patience with the young man.

He said our society socialises our men to be infantile and immature; he also said the young man is probably completely confused. He said that men don’t really react well when their confused.

He also said women are more emotionally mature and advanced than men. If a man is 18 years old, emotionally he”s like a nine year old girl.

I told my Baba I understand that, however in this situations I truly had no expectations. It wasn’t like I was here saying, the young man and I were going to get married and have children and get domestic in no time flat.

I didn’t tell the Baba this part, but I wasn’t and still am not sure I want a boyfriend like the relationship this current young man came along to extricate me from. I don’t think I wanted to move at lightening speed into anything, but I couldn’t lie to myself about my feelings either. My emotions weren’t like pushing me to fall into a committed relationship like that right on the heels of breaking up with my man of one year; a man I loved and cared for.

No, no, no. Rather, I was quite willing to remain as a friend and build our friendship into a new level and have some of that good sex regularly and see where it went from there. I wanted to give the young man everything, sure. WANTED is the operative word here; I never really got a chance to do it because the young man cast me and my feelings, deep as they were and as superficial as they were, deep into suspension. I, who never stay still and don’t wait.

I told the Baba about my decision to pull away from the young man and the unsafe emotional situation that he has created for me. Baba said, “Listen, your mother Oshun is there to talk to. She will help this, and you don’t know, she might send you right back to this one no matter how far away you run.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

She might, but it will take some serious convincing on both sides of this divide. It can’t be something as miraculous as the night the young man and I first made love. It can’t be something as marvellous as realising the Universe was opening a pathway for opportunity.

No, no, no. I think it’s going to take nothing short of undeniable definitive behaviour, consistently over a long period of time. I don’t think it could be something as simple as a confession of long suffering, deep-seated, high-held torch for me. That confession got me to see him in this way, but look how opportunity can be so wasted and muddied.

Listen to Etta; she’s singing ‘Again’. “This couldn’t happen again.”

Mama, you may have a real offbeat sense of humour, but if that man is for me, the Universe will have to convince me. I don’t think I can be as open about it as I was right after that night he and I spent next to Yemoja.

It’s going to take me a while to forget my hurt feelings and more than anything I want to put the young man and the situation behind me.

Baba says, “Talk to your mother.”

So I will.

The Goddess of Love, Sensuality, Creativity, Intelligence and Beauty is my mother, I am her loved girl-child. Those kind of spiritual genes must be a good a thing. I know it.

Etta is singing, “I’m loving you more, more now. Loving more every day. I’m loving you more In every way, now.”

:sigh: Irony, irony, irony…. my constant companion and friend.

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The Vault


mermaid, dayo's mama, water priestess, writer, web developer, omo yemoja, dos aguas, obsessive reader, sci-fi fan, trini-bajan, combermerian, second life, music, music, music!