Last year, all I wanted was to be independent. Now, for the first time in my life, I am on the verge of it.
I sat down a few nights ago, and went through my finances.
I have managed to save quite a bit of corn in the last several months babies. I guess it helps that I’ve found a way to put my money where nothing short of a letter and 48 hours can give me access to it. In the other case, a letter and one week. HA HA!! That’s the key, padawan. Hide your money from yourself.
Anyway, it means I can pay cash for my basic appliance set up, and afford this beautiful apartment I am going to take. This makes me feel like a Goddess.
After the rough disappointments of the past few months, letting go of love, reavaluating what friendship really means, deciding my bullshit tolerance, you know, it’s great to know that I can achieve my goals. All I have to do is make better decisions.
Chile, ah still writhing in my bed at night, hot and bothered, and no man even remotely in sight to satisfy the deep pulsing and aching between my thighs; but ultimately, I am doing well at work, and I am going to move out, and have my own space, and figure out how to be a whole person, and no matter how lonely I get in my new space, I won’t be alone, because I have me.
That’s a good feeling. It’s a good thing to be able to plunk down the cash for a new bed, a new stove, a new fridge, a new washing machine and still pay your rent and security deposit. THAT, feels damn fucking good!!!