I find myself agreeing with her on much.

While I have an historical interest in Egypt, and of course authentic human anthropology, I have often wondered why it easier for African descendents in the ‘New World’ in seeking to identify with their lost identities, choose to model their spiritual lives against lineages not related to them except by ideologies in the farthest reaches of antiquity.

The enslaved Africans who helped to people this part of the world WERE from West Africa. So why are Rastafarians modeling their spiritual beliefs against Judaic religion, or why do my Khemetic leaning brothers and sisters choose a system that hasn’t even been fully or correctly translated, and whose rituals are thousands of years out of practise, when the living traditions of our WEST AFRICAN ancestors exists still in largely unbroken lines down to us today?

The sisters commentary is interesting, and touches quite a few points I’ve raised myself. I often wonder if the state of our communities is directly related to an inability on the whole of us to connect with this West African heritage. Without it, we’re still not a cohesive unit, still labouring under false pretenses and mental slavery.

In a facebook discussion, a young man who I have discoursed with for years, and who incidentally I share very little intellectual or ideological common ground with, asserted that the sister in the video had nerve to imply disrespect because of other people’s priorities and choices.

I replied, ” I actually understand many of the forces that shape these ‘choices’, which are often ‘no real choice’, not always, just often, and I put them in what I see is the appropriate context. Also, ‘depends on the question’? What is her question here? It’s the same one I frankly ask on a regular basis… I put it to Rastafarian brothers and sisters, to Khemetic brothers and sisters, to Christian brothers and sisters and Muslim brothers and sisters… and I find the answers (often ‘non answers’, not always, but often) very grounded in a particular world view and mind set. ”

I also want to ask a couple more questions, and I included it there too. When you look out across the Atlantic, what do you see? Just the Sea?

I see a turbulent ocean true, but I can never look at the Sea and not see Yemoja and Olokun. I see that too…

When I look out across the Sea, I can never forget that across this water, the next land mass is where my Ancestors came from.

When I look out across the Sea, I can never forget the millions of Africans lost to it’s depths, and when I see that choppiness of the water, I hear them call out to me… to something inside me asking me to remember them and honour them.

So for me, I can never look past my spiritual roots, beyond it to something else. I am not denying the African origins of Egypt, Christianity, Judaism or Islam. I accept these this as part of my historical understanding, even if many others cannot see it, or reject it.

My only point of divergence, is I would say, her comments on the origins of humanity in north-eastern Africa. I am fairly convinced of that. Even the Yoruba believe they walked out of Khemet, across the desert and into Sub-Saharan Africa thousands and thousands of years ago, with an intact religious system handed down largely unchanged until (colonialism) recent times.

My question I put to many across the Diaspora–and I mean those who are seeking, those who have invested themselves in homegrown spiritual solutions, Rastafarism and Khemetic philosophy in particular–why they feel the need to create something from strands of something else, when such a powerful tool as their own Ancestral practise and their spiritual inheritance is there for them to use.

I find myself, for the second time in two years on the edge of disillusionment when it comes to Orisa communities.

Understand me, I do not mean Orisa; I mean human communities of Orisa devotees. And when I say communities, I mean those both offline and online.

I am for the most part, disgusted with the kind of people that seem to populate these communities. So few of them that I have met, or encountered have any honour at all and as for iwa pele (true and noble character) forget about it. To my memory, there have only been a few who I felt were honorable to the core.

It seems as though these communities are rarely driven by spiritual truth, and more often by more corporeal motivations, chief among them financial gain, and at the least petty one up man ship.

I am deeply unimpressed by the spite, the bile, the lack of compassion, the ease and quickness with which people inflict pain and suffering on one another; the penchant towards cult mentalities and most of all, the way in which some of these people discourage personal empowerment.

This thing with ‘elders’, people who are initiated, and people who have been involved in the religion for a number of years… many of them are voracious about demanding respect from all, but rarely do they reciprocate. For them, they can bear no criticism whatsoever, yet are quick to criticise everyone who doesn’t agree or go along with their own game plans.

I have watched, over and over, as Orisa devotees pull down other people’s houses to build their own. I have watched how people contort themselves to be nasty, unkind, unforgiving and to maintain control of others.

One of the biggest breeding grounds for these kind of people I have come across is the Internet. If you are searching for god parents, or searching to learn more about this tradition, it’s easy to say, let me look online for communities of Orisa devotees. This is especially true if you live in towns and cities that are isolated and has no visible Orisa community present.

I wasn’t necessarily looking for god parents on the Internet, but looking for discussion and avenues for growth. What I found for the most part was a cesspool, a morass of spiritual mediocrity masquerading itself as Orisa.

I have come to realise a few things.

Because people know a lot of rituals (or claim to online), and they know a lot about the religion, it’s easy to think that this person can teach you, that you can learn from them. And maybe you can. However, on the Internet, people really aren’t who they seem. In the four years since I started my spiritual journey with Orisa, I have found that even people you meet in the real world, are not what they seem. The Internet only exasperates this further.

In that time, I have joined a number of online forums for Orisa devotees and practitioners and have been consistently disappointed. Most of them devolve into petty arguments about lineage, people take pot shots at each other,

But to me, I don’t want to learn anything from someone who doesn’t have the basic milk of human kindness. I don’t want to learn anything from people who insist on crying down other people so they can feel superior. I am sick of the cliquism, and the way people manipulate and use each others as tools to attack and destroy each other.

Sweetness, care, concern, TRUTH, HONESTY, regard, respect and love draw me on and I am helpless to turn away.

The warmth of the Sun shines on me… a Lion awaits, basso profundo purring and all.

I…. travel, and my fears begin to slip away. Safe harbour is ahead and messengers came down the road to urge me on.

I am blessed child of Love and Beauty, tied forever to He who know the past, the present and the future. Where are we going Baba? Somewhere deep into strange unknown territory? Are we going somewhere warm and redolent with love? That’s a place I have inside me, and a place I have been looking for.

They told me in sign miles aback that joy was rushing down towards me, and I struggled through dark places turned away from dark faces to get here, and only my faith drew on. I am blessed, I am blessed, and dreams encourage dreams and I long for rest and succor.

I am coming! Announce me! Me shoes are filled with pebbles and stones, my feet are cut and bruised, I have danced through the last few miles, tears flowing and my heart sure you were there waiting.

Fire to inflame fire, trined and longed for, bedraggled by battle and starvation I have kept the glow alive

I see it up ahead… my resting place…. see now, the father of secrets awaits….

Aboru, Aboye, Abosise….

Alafia!

Look, some of this has to come out or I am just going to pop; bust up, implode or something. Some way, some how I have to find a way to express this thing from my mind to some outside form.

Thing is, somehow I feel as though I may take a long time to finish this, post this and even if I post this, access to it will be limited. I doubt this will be posted before it takes shape and manifests itself.

Why is this? I think this is mostly because of my spirituality and a missive I received to keep big things to myself before it’s done. So I am not going to tell you what’s ACTUALLY happened, what’s happening, what’s likely to happen.

Instead, let me tell you how I feel.

The world reels, colours are richer…. all of a sudden the tapestry of my life must contemplate skeins and skeins of the richest kinds of threads.

I am reeling… I am spinning and spinning and spinning… it’s something like I experienced during ritual work in Trinidad. Spinning, spinning, spinning away something haunting me, and turning, turning, turning into freedom.

I am feeling the freedom that the bonds of friendship, love, loyalty and spiritual work can provide me, that which I have sought for more years that I tell you. I am feeling safe and protected and as always, just when I felt the connection between me and my spiritual self were slipping away, forces beyond me organised itself to bring me back to it.

All I have prayed for is right there in front of me, being offered to me of a platter of bronze, surrounded by plumes of peacock feathers. All I have to ask is if it’s mine. My eye is as big as my heart, my heart is bigger than it’s ever been, and I’m salivating with want for this… for my life to change, for that which has held me back for so long is beaten into a permanent retreat. For my life to become all I’ve dreamed, all I have known and been told over and over and over again by the mystics and seers who have reached out to me and gave me the messages from SPIRIT, you’re alright, it’s alright, it’s going to be just fine, finally, finally MANIFEST.

What can you say about how you feel in moments like these. Utter terror? No, it feels normal. Like I’ve been waiting for it, isn’t that right babies? Wasn’t Mami waiting for it for so long, and filled pages and pages, outputted gigs of binary on the subject?

Shucks…. I am no fool. All is chance and fortune, and my fortunes are changing, I haven’t just been praying in my bed, I’ve gone out and met it come hard come soft… and it’s done both. There are too many wicked souls in the world, too much jealousy and insecurity and a dear friend likes to say, “It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.”

I feel as Aragorn must have, when Gandalf returned with Eomer at the Battle of Helm’s Deep; like Gandalf himself must have felt at the gates of Minas Tirith fighting off the Witch King of Angmar when light broke and the horns of Rohan exploded across the Battle of Pelennor Fields. (You can tell I’m reading LOTR… all things lead me to elements of Tolkein’s tale. I cannot help my epic imagination and appetite for this story. I identify!)

I have been embattled. Ya’ll think I was kidding when I said I was struggling under the weight of something. I’ve written about it more than once, but because the depth to which I have been hampered, wounded and violated, although I have begun to heal, it still isn’t done yet.

Yet, I am at the end of the fight, finally at the end of the battle and I am blessed to find both protection and protector.

I guess for the first time I’m beginning to realise that Orisa loves me, my Guardian Angel, my Ori, all are there rooting for me, so no matter how bad things are in terms of this NEGATIVE ENTITY that’s trying to harm me, I have love all around me protecting me from the worse of it, and more… the more I help myself, the more help I get.

I am feeling it… feeling that love, and it’s got to get worse before it gets better, but with Ifa’s blessing when I come out the other side they’re will be strong, solid support waiting to catch me and help me to recuperate.

I am on the cusp of another huge leap in faith. I am on the axis of yet another evolutionary turn, a fundamental CHANGE in my life. I feel it coming on, seeing it up there on the road.

I am blessed to be here… yet again a feeling of being blessed to be alive and approaching yet another watershed moment.

Mojuba Oludumare! Mefererun Egun! Mojuba Orunmilla! Mojuba Osun! Mojuba Yemoja! Mojuba Gbogbo Orisa!

I have come to the last spasm in a cycle, and I am strengthened by the love all around me.

I am scared. Scared to the marrow of my bones, but I am not so scared to reach out for something with both hands and hold on, hold on, hold on. I have to hold on for my babies, my old people to come again, hold on for my husband to be, hold on for all the work I must do.

I see the road I’ve walked and the road I am still walking, and for the first time clarity is there, all I am waiting for is blessing and ritual. It’s all starting to make sense for the first time in a long time.

What also comes back to me strongly is a warning I got in divination earlier this year, that I paraphrase here “If you want to do something, don’t talk about it until it’s done or you’ll have doubts and it will lead to it remaining unfinished.”

This is perhaps the biggest thing I’ve attempted in my life. This happening, this event, this momentous discovery of the sweetest, greatest opportunity I’ve ever been presented with, is the kind of thing I would have blogged in a heartbeat, but this unwillingness to divulge in and of itself is remarkable and rare.

The thing is, this thing isn’t as mundane as fuck, an argument, a

LIBATION (AKA MOJUBA)

Omi Tutu (Cool water)
Ona Tutu (Freshen my road)
Ile Tutu (Freshen my house)
Ori Tutu (Freshen my head)
Tutu Esu (Refresh Esu)
Tutu Orisa (Refresh the Orisas)
Tutu Egun Mi (Freshen my Ancestors)
Tutu Bobo Egun Ara Orun Tiembelese Oludumare (Freshen all the Ancestors that sit at the feet of Oludumare)
Mojuba Oludumare (I Praise Almighty God)
Mojuba Olorun (I Praise the Sky God who gives us the Sun)
Mojuba Olofi Ayie (I Praise God Who Gave Us The World)
Mojuba Ibae Egun Gbogbo Egun Ibae (I praise the Ancestors)
Mojuba Gbogbo Orisa (I Praise All The Orisha)
Mojuba Baba Alagba Osin Ati Olosin Egbe Egungun Mi (I Praise Father Alagba, Chief Ancestor, Owner of My Place of Worship)
Mojuba Iya Tobi Mi (I Praise the Mother who birthed me)
Mojuba Baba Tobi Mi (I Praise the Father who bore me)
Mojuba Iyalorisa (I praise the mother of Orisa)
Mojuba Babalorisha (I praise the father of Orisha)
Ki Nkan Ma Se (Godmother’s name) (I Praise my God Mother)
Ki Nkan Ma Se (Godfather’s name) (I praise my God Father)
Kosi Ko Iku Ojoji (Never let me die a sudden death)
Kosi Ano (Don’t Let Sickness Take Me)
Kosi Arun (Protect me from sickness)
Kosi Ina (Don’t let passion fixate me, or let me experience fights)
Kosi Eyo (Don’t let obstacles get in my path)
Kosi Idina (Protect me from obstacles)
Kosi Fitibo (Don’t let me be overwhelmed)
Kosi Egba Don’t let me be paralyzed)
Kosi Ofo (Don’t let me experience loss)
Kosi Ese (Don’t let me succumb to evil)
Kosi Akoba (Don’t let sudden change interfere in my life)
Ariku Babawa (Let me not see death Father)
Ariku Iyawa (Let me not see death Mother)

Ase, Ase, Ase!

Ofo Ase, Ofo Ase, Ofo Ase

Iba se ori egun Ìlà arun (Offer to the East)
Iba se ori egun Ìwò arun (Offer to the West)
Iba se ori egun ariwa arun (Offer to the North)
Iba se ori egun gusuu arun (Offer to the South)
Iba se ori egun orun (Offer to HEAVEN)
Iba se ori egun ayie (Offer to Earth)

Iba se….. (call the names of all the Ancestors you can remember and call those whose names you can’t remember but on whose shoulders you stand.)

I have a cut ass for somebody. I mean a hard slap to end fucking hard slaps, oui? I have to tell this story, because I have only glanced at it before, kid gloves remained on, and I remembered my crown, rather than the pettiness of shit.

Except, I have what my grandmother used to called a fowl shit temper. I mean when you hit a fucking nerve with me, it goes right through me like a starter’s pistol, or the opening salvo in a battle and my blood scent comes up and I whip out my pistol and the shot is fired before I know it’s happened.

I tend to excoriate assholes in my life quick, quick. I don’t waste time. I don’t pussy foot about whether or not I want this person in my life. All you have to do, is reach out and impose some injustice, be unkind to me in some way, or take me for granted, or try to control me, and the wild woman in me comes out, and she, I have only a modicum of control over. She is the one with the pistol. Sometimes I say things that come off in another way, and people take it the wrong way, and I regret their hurt feelings, but I never say things just to be unkind, I’m just not that type of person. So when people try to hurt me and sometimes succeed, I realise more than ever, that people are people. Wherever you are, wherever you go, there is always some petty motherfucker who thinks they know better than you, know you better than you, and try to tell you your business.

You have to draw the line somewhere. Say what, some I dun tell wunna some things I taking, and some things I just ain’t.

Read more…

ah deyWho Will Love Me In Winter — Van Hunt
Ochun says bad influences will continue pounding you, a situation that will spark off tensions. You must take it easy and avoid head-on clashes. Remember you’re a very impulsive person that must try to keep ill temper at bay. This Orisha suggests you to dress in red, to honor Chango, in an effort to ward off evil eyes.

From: Caribbean Inside

You may or may not remember me telling you I had gone to see a babalawo in February. That caused a bit of drama with a ‘friend’ apparently. He’s still not talking to me because I went without discussing it with him, seeking his express approval and worse, choosing an African babalawo rather than his Santeria padrino and even worse, choosing to follow the guidance of someone he expressly dislikes, and worse yet… having and knowing my own mind. Ai ya… Oludumare save me from other people’s insecurities!

To continue: the babalawo divined to Ifa for me then told me not to worry so much. That my efforts were geared for success. :sigh: This is all I am holding onto right now.

Last week I went and made ibori…. this is a cleansing of the head, an appeasement of one’s destiny.

This is the Ori I am speaking about, the most personal and most important Orisa.

Ori” first, because “Ori” is our main support while here in Aye. Even the Irunmole and Orisa depended on their Ori to accomplish their tasks and assignments.
 
Ori is our main support and guide while here in Aye/the world and Ori is not an Orisa; Ori is its’ own entity which is comprised of your own Destiny and Character/It’s your spirit, your own head (physical and spiritual). It is that which allows us to make choices through our own free will. Ori is also connected/combined with our spiritual double known as “Enikeji”. Our Enikeji is that part of us that remains in Iwonron to remind us of our chosen destiny and what we should and shoudn’t be doing while here in Aye. It’s that little voice in our head telling us what’s best for us.
 
Ori should be worshipped first before any Irunmole and Orisa because all thoughts start within our own minds/heads and if are heads our focused, then so will our lives. The Irunmole and Orisa are there for the times our heads become detached (Modakeke). Basically, when we’re not thinking correctly. Therefore, before seeking the assistance of any of the Irunmole or Orisa use your own head first to solve your problems (Use your Ori).
 
Song taught to me by Chief Solagbade Popoola about Ori:
 
Ori eni la wure eni O
Ori eni la wure eni
moji lowuro mufi owo muri
Ori eni la wure eni
 
Translation:
 
Ones’ Ori is ones’ charm for all sucesses
Ones’ Ori is ones’ charm for all sucesses
I wake up in the morning and I hold my head
Ones’ Ori is ones’ charm for all sucesses
 
Important note: Traditionally there is no concept of having a guardian Orisa or being a child of this or that Orisa. As taught to me by my elders, Ori is ones’ guardian in life and all the Irunmole/Orisa support us/support our Ori depending on what’s happening in our lives at the time. In other words, we are supported by all the Irunmole/Orisa and not just one or two. I felt this was important to state because traditionally if you are born into a household/lineage that worships Ogun for example, it is expected that you will be initiated into Ogun as well. There is no such thing as doing a guardian Orisa reading first to see who owns your head because traditionally it is believed that you are the owner of your own head/Ori is you and you are it. The head controls the body. The body does not control the head. Traditionally you simply follow in the footsteps of your lineage and become a priest of whatever Orisa that your lineage worships.

FROM: The Irunmole and Orisha with a short description of Ori

I have been reading about Orunmila, Ifa, getting involved in things, reaching inside to define myself. To start I have been asking my Ancestors for help. I’ve now been asking my Ori to help open the way for me. I have one more ritual to perform, and hopefully this will be accepted and I can proceed further down the road.

This morning, in my half wake/half sleep state, I pleaded with the good Spirits around me and my own Ori to help me in this time. I pushed as many mental images of comfort and growth, after a night of dreams where the men I have had feelings for in the past came to me one by one, and talked with me, helped me before being replaced by each other (weird).

I also dreamt of evacuating my family from a crumbling world, and stopping to grab important things.

I am tired, but it is my heart’s desire to overcome my current difficulties and all my prayer is focussed on that.

I have over the last few months, been trying to combat my fear. I realise I about to leap forward, but the leap is scary. What I mean is, that in terms of what I’ve been through so far. This is mostly in terms of what divination has revealed to me so far.

Not divination in terms of my own. I try not to probe too much myself. I still think I need training to be proficient. I’ve learnt my lesson I think, and I am afraid of the foolishness one is tempted by when one divines for oneself.

No, I mean in readings other people have done for me. Astra (both times), the first ever divination that was done for me, also during my One Hand of Ifa ceremony, and recently during this most recent divination with a Nigerian babalawo who is visiting London.

I am a daughter of Orunmilla. This is the third time that it has been divined. What is unclear is whether Osun or Yemoja is my mother. We are sure I am a water baby, just not whose.

I choose not to worry too much; I have my suspicions. I have had recent dreams about Yemoja that were powerful. I am digressing though.

Back in 2003, during my One Hand of Ifa ceremony, it was declared that Orunmilla was my Orisha, but the babalawo who attended, said that he didn’t like to tell a woman that Orumilla was their Orisha, so he said it was Osun, and that I was now apetebii.

Except, what that was wasn’t really explained to me at all. In the two years since then, I’ve done a great deal of research, a lot of reading, asking questions of people who are supposed to know. Posed this to practitioners of Ifa-derived systems in the ‘New World’: Santeria/Lukumi, Candomble and actual Nigerian practitioners.

I’ve read the one and only book available on the subject of apetebii, “Apetebii: The Wife Of Orunmilla” by Chief Priest Ifayemi Elebuibon The Awise of Oshogbo; I’ve posted in forums, many heavy Santeria/Lukumi influenced boards and discussion groups, and gleaned as much of an understanding of “what exactly is going on, mate?”

After three years of avid study and interest, here’s what I understand about my own personal spiritual developmental path.

Before I incarnated in this body, I asked God for a particular destiny. This was part of my Ori. I asked to come back as a child of Orunmilla, and as a woman, because from my investigations and messages delivered through seers, I believe I was a high priest before. I haven’t probed this reason, but from what I know of karma, it was probably for the experience of it. By that I mean, for the experience of being a woman and a priest.

Apetebii, is the first rung on a ladder of initiation towards Iyanifa. Some women become apetebii, and do not progress further. Apetebii, I understand is also not limited to daughters of Osun and Ifa. Apetebii, also does not divine for petitioners.

In my case though, I’ve been expressly told I have to learn to divine, and at least once that I must initiate to Ifa.

This is a road not without real problems. This is because the high priesthood of Ifa often tends to be male. In the Cuban Lukumi system, there is a strong established prohibition of women intiated to Ifa. In fact, in the Cuban system, Apetebii is as far as it goes for women and Ifa. Some have attributed this to a Judeo/Christian machismo acquired in captivity.

And here is the crux of the thing. Women are initiated to Ifa in parts of what was ancient Yorubaland; and still are for that matter. The highest level that a woman can achieve in the Ifa high priesthood is that of “Iyaonifa” or “Iyanifa”, which literally translates to “Mother of Ifa”. A male high priest is a “babalawo”, a “father of the secrets”.

Divination is the real bone of contention for the Cuban practitioners in opposition, because for them, a woman cannot divine with opuele, the diviner’s chain that babalawo’s use. However, even the Iya of the shrine I was in before I left Trinidad, used an opuele, and she is Osun/Obatala. No doubt, she uses the chain with some controversy as many practitioners in Trinidad are made in New York and Cuba and obviously and inevitably inherit some of prejudices of that system.

There has been other controversies as well, including the “female babalawo” (this article disassembles the ritual stages the woman is said to have achieved), an American Jewish woman who claims to have been initiated to Ifa and been present when Odu was revealed. Now, according to many Orisa devotees, the Ifa corpus prevents women from receiving Odu in this way. Being present when odu is revealed is at the core of the difference between the initiation ceremonies for men and women to Ifa.

There aren’t even many male priests who are present when Odu is revealed and receive it. In fact, in the article linked to above, it is clearly stated: “On October 6 (2002) in the town of Ilobu, Osun State, the Orisa-Odu is carried out by Chief Babalola Ifatogun. After the necessary divination, according to D’Haifa, Chief Ifatogun pronounces categorically that there is no Odu-Ifa that ever prohibited women from receiving Orisa-Odu, nor to initiate another person into Ifa.”

I must report that this woman has been largely vilified and heavily criticised by the greater Orisha community, including other Iyanifa’s. I have also read stories that the people who initiated her, later disowned her. So you know, whether or not she actually achieved what she said she has, is still being debated.

Anyway, this is not to debate the legitimacy of this woman’s claims. I am in absolutely no position to comment on this, so consider what I have written thus far to mere reportage and nothing more.

My concern is my own road, I will trust the Orisas and the messages and instructions received in divination, rather than be guided solely by what is ‘accepted’. To be honest, I have real problems with some of the things in the Cuban system and not the least of which is the matter of ‘Iyanifa’. I am not criticising the Cuban traditions, it’s just that if it means that I must limit myself in order to fit in with it, then I choose not to limit myself. If it means that Cuban practitioners will not recognise me, the so be it.

I will not be limited by anyone. I chose my own destiny, and I will try in all ways to allow my Ori to guide me to the place I need to be in order to function at my highest level as an individual both spiritually and temporally.

So for me, if Orunmilla has claimed me as His child and identified me as material worthy of his priesthood, then how am I going to choose to placate people who have refused to recognise change and evolution.

I think it is no accident that I was born an Aries. To follow this path has required fighting and battles, and an Aries is capable, a warrior to reckon with.

It has already begun, because my mother (naturally) does not approve, and she has been very derisive of my faith on more than one occasion. Discussions on the matter always seem to end in a fight of some sort. I have also chosen not talk to my grandmother about it either, because of her devout Catholicism.

In any case, I have decided that I am not going to follow the Cuban system. It would limit me in a way I think would be bad for me. There are very stern warnings regarding the crowning of the wrong Orisha.

This however doesn’t mean I am in a rush to take up sacredotal duties. In fact, I feel quite truculent. I am actually quite unnerved by the responsibility that the role requires, the kind of discipline demanded and you know, the way my life will change fundamentally. I am also wary of fanaticism on any level, so for me to submerge myself so completely into a religious life is quite frightening. I don’t know if I want to change that much.

Will I still be able to listen to Missy Elliot, Jodeci and Outkast with the same kind of enjoyment? What will I have to give up? I suppose these are questions, anyone contemplating this type of life change asks oneself, and you know, I’m right to ask.

When the time comes, I may willingly surrender a great many things about my life, and I sense this is coming, but on a level friends, I would like it not to hurry.

It will bring great personal change, and new battles to fight, and you know… I’d like a nice long period of recovery from the dramas behind me before I start another major hike, ya feel me?

In any case, I am learning to work with my Ori. I feel this is the key to managing the changes around me, to my life and to myself. I am glad I made ibori. I am hoping to learn how to appease and work with my ori to achieve my highest potential. Truly, it’s the only way to proceed. So you know, small moves… small moves.

Back from the bembe…. it was for Sango. It wasn;t what I expected, very Cuban, but not like we do it in Trinidad.

For those who don’t know, all traditional Yoruba music is in a call and response format… there is a lead singer, who leads the singing, but the rest of the group answer.

For me, I found the chorale part a little difficult tonight. They didn’t sing the words clearly, so it was hard to pick up the songs. You know, in Trinidad, I went to many Orisha gatherings, and although I didn’t know the songs, while I was there, I’d be able to pick up the songs quickly, because the chorale sang together and in time. That was definitely not so tonight.

I danced… I danced for hours, but that I expected.

Yeye Ochun — Los Munequitos De MatanzasSo I got up and went to see Star Wars. I thought George acquitted himself very well. Although there were the same problems with the wooden acting and dialogue, this film was definitely a realisation of the story’s grandeur.
Oh yes, it was well worth waiting to see it, and nice to see it without huge crowds and late at night. I could concentrate more… but a review is in another post. There was a little sadness when I exited the cinema, but a nice man behind the counter gave me a Yoda Star Wars poster and ya’ll know Yoda is my favourite.

Today a friend is coming to get me and we’re going to a bembe in Brixton. A bembe, for those of you who do not know, is a celebration for the Orishas. Bembe is used to describe drums, a style of drumming or a gathering where those drums and rhythms are used.

I believe the one I am going to is for Shango. In any case, it will be the first time in more than a year that I have participated in any gathering for the Orishas. That is kind of mind blowing in itself, since it was such a regular part of my life.

I have very few ‘working white’ these days. I left all my whites in Trinidad, but I have a nice full pale, sunflower yellow skirt and a white long sleeved shirt with flowers on it that I am going to wear. Of course, I have white cotton to wrap my head.

I am looking forward to it! I am looking forward to singing for my Mama….